AHS: Traitor – a look back at last week’s episode of Apocalypse

With only a handful of episodes to go, the witches are gearing up for the fight of a lifetime against antichrist ‘hottie’ Michael Langdon. After hearing of the ‘T’ spilt in last week’s Murder House crossover, Cordelia is on the offensive with a little help from some like-minded individuals.

The first stop on the witching hour recruitment scheme is Dinah Stevens (Adina Porter) who is now the reigning Voodoo Queen since Marie Laveau’s demise. Of course, we have already been introduced to Dinah but this episode shows her darker side. It can’t get any darker as Dinah feeds a man the heart of his mistress in the hopes of quelling his cheating side. Every scorned AHS fan is now taking note of the specific ingredients and incantation.

Poor Cordelia is in deep as she requests the aid of Voodoo daddy, Papa Legba, who we already know does not take kindly to a white woman making demands. Once Papa Legba (who genuinely looks like Will.i.am) is listening, she proposes he open the gates of hell to trap Langdon inside. There is just one thing: in order to do so, he requires the souls of all Delia’s students. Our favourite mind controlling witch makes an appearance and it turns out Nan is not in turmoil but chilling in the torment of hell. She quite rightfully refuses the offer but seemingly at the cost of the world.

Claps for Cordelia for making her recruitment strategy as diverse as possible because our next recruit is none other than Joan Collins. Portraying actress Bubbles, Collins is working on the set of a Christmas horror movie. She joins both Madison and Myrtle for dinner and instead of discussing the apocalypse, begins to explain how easy oral is now that she has mind-reading skills. It is warming to see witchcraft being used practically this season, instead of, you know, saving the world. They discuss their plans to expose the warlocks and take the first step in taking Langdon down.

An interesting development occurs at the academy, where Coco has now discovered her ability to sense the calories of food. I think I have found my new notification tone courtesy of Coco’s grunting during this episode. The whole scene is light-hearted until she chokes and dies on a piece of already bitten snowball… Gross right? That is until Mallory, who apparently knows exactly what she is doing, opens Coco’s throat to remove the lodged food. Zoe then updates her Supreme of the ordeal and suggests Mallory may, in fact, be the next Supreme. I was having immense déjà vu, as I swear Myrtle suggested this three episodes ago.

Myrtle and Bubbles engage in some banter with Ariel and Baldwin over the dinner they must have spent hours preparing. I know they have magic to help but would it not have just been easier to order a Domino’s? After a little help from a well-aged bottle of wine, both warlocks sing like canaries about their intentions with the witches. Having also admitted to the killing of John Henry, Cordelia asks Mallory to return him to the land of the living. Surprisingly he admits to Miriam killing him – something I wouldn’t admit if I wanted to keep my bad boy warlock rep intact.

Ariel and Baldwin in all their adorable hubris continue to plot to kill the witches with a magical powder that doesn’t just make your pupils grow but also makes them fall out. Just as they plan to set sail for the academy the doors swing open and Cordelia soon puts a stop to their planning. Coco is then given some meaning when she is tasked with finding Miriam with her newfound senses. For a moment, I thought this was going to be the third time Coco dies this season as Miriam shoots her in the chest with a dart gun. Luckily enough the Albino brothers are on hand to throw that bitch into the back of a van.

With all three of the criminals captured, the witches do their usual slow-motion strutting to the execution. I am obviously not pro-death penalty, but how brilliant would it be to dress in all black with a lace umbrella. I never get sick of these fabulous executions, simply because they find a new way to light people on fire each time. John Henry lights the fuse this time but not before making a few well-timed jokes and pouring gasoline on his murderer.

In the final moments of the episode, the magic brethren turn away from the charred corpses of their enemies. Next stop, Michael Langdon. If only they knew that all their efforts were for nothing because, as we know, the apocalypse still happens.

Most Oh Ma Gawd Moment-
The voodoo ritual kicked off the episode in exactly the right way, taking down a powerful man and lots and lots of blood.

The Character Of The Week-
Coco continues to bring a ray of light into this dark, dark show. She is the comedic relief of the season and without it, we would be a very sombre fan base. Her witch noises alone are enough to warrant its own soundboard on iTunes.

Quote Of The Week-
Having had their mouths sealed by Cordelia it is no surprise the warlocks cannot answer when John Henry asks if they have “any last words”. I found myself smiling at his comment. Karma’s a bitch and her name is Cordelia!

If They Were The Last Person On Earth-
Dinah Stevens is serving all kinds of Voodoo goddess this week. Firstly, that dress is stunning and as usual, her performance is stellar. I wouldn’t mind her making a voodoo doll for me. All hail Dinah Stevens.

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