Episode eight of AHS: Apocalypse was an infuriating game of who’s your daddy, where the father is actually the devil and not just a guy who refuses to pay support money. This episode was a little slow when compared to the others which were packed full of sordid rituals and even more sordid sex scenes. However, what it did do is set up some important backstory that leads up to the eventual cataclysm.
Michael finds the crispy remains of his allies but also the woman who raised him to be the adorable antichrist he is today. Apparently, Miriam never said no to him as he begins to throw his metaphorical toys out of the pram. With her timing, as impeccable as ever, Cordelia appears to let him know his ass is done. She does offer him a way out after hiding Meade’s soul so far in the underworld that Langdon will never find it. After some more tears, the antichrist unapologetically declines her offer and says he will kill them all. Charming.
Langdon does what any normal person would do next, he goes for a walk to clear his head. But, unlike everyone else, he begins to carve a pentagram into the ground to summon his estranged father. Shocker, he is a no show. After four days without food or water, he begins to hallucinate an Abercrombie and Fitch model/winged angel who confesses that “God loves him”. Conveniently Michael stumbles upon a satanic cult led by a very disappointed Hannah. Hannah exclaims her anger at the congregation after they confess their not so evil sins from that week. Because if sleeping with your brother’s wife was evil, then all the real housewives would be in the cult too. Hannah herself, a shining example of wretchedness, robbed a nursing home and donated the money to the NRA. Slumped at the back Langdon meets Madelyn (Harriett Sansom Harris) who offers him a warm meal and a place to stay.
Madelyn admits that she sold her soul and in return can shoot up as much Heroine as she wants, and has sex with Ryan Reynolds once a week. Honestly, though, you sell your soul and only get Ryan Reynolds once a week? After more whining from a sombre Langdon, he pulls back his hair to show the ‘666’ burned into his skin, prompting Madelyn to throw herself to the ground in worship. If I knew you got this much adoration from strangers, I would have burned it into my own skin years ago. Shit gets satanic back at the congregation, who have their very own “All Sinner’s Choir”. They need to get themselves on the X Factor because I can seriously see a mashup with Sia in my head. Just as they are about to sacrifice some very good people things get demonic as Langdon approaches in a cape. Moments after killing the sacrifices, Langdon is embraced by the entire room as their saviour.
Langdon has some serious identity issues but Madelyn is going to help him out by sending him to the centre of all evil. Arriving at The Collective, yes the same Collective from the first few episodes, we meet Jeff (Evan Peters) and Mutt (Billy Eichner). With a crystal bowl of coke and a few sex robots here and there, they are by far the two worst people we have met so far… misogynists. I can deal with the antichrist, witches and demons but misogynists do hit the evil spot for me. They are overseen by the purple donning Venable who now has ginger Cheryl Blossom hair. I appreciated all the subtle nods to the future like Venable’s cane and the purple of her clothes.
Of course, Michael must convince them of his validity, which involves some spontaneous human combustion and a little smouldering devil face. Mutt and Jeff reveal they also get busy with Ryan Reynolds, which begs the question: how do I sell my soul to the devil? If this episode was a sponsored partnership for selling your soul, then they have hit the ball out of the park. Langdon asks them to bring his beloved Miriam back to him, something I thought he had gotten over now. They begin to build him a real-life replica which then opens her eyes to recognise her adopted son.
Most Oh My Gawd Moment-
This episode was very light on the magic side which meant the combustion of the less than dressed secretary was a shocker. Follow that up with a split second of devil face and I was sat on the edge of my seat.
The Character of the Week-
Hell-raising Hannah was the perfect embodiment of a disappointed mother and the manager at work you just can’t shake. If this isn’t satanic enough I don’t know what is. What’s more, beside her darker impulses she seemed so normal. I can totally see her working at a spa retreat in the days.
Quote of the Week-
Anything Sarah Paulson said. Venable was a well-timed touch on the episode’s rather slow plot. She is just as mean and uncaring as in the future, just with a different get up.
If They Were the Last Person On Earth-
Langdon is back with this one, he oozed a mentally unstable bad boy and that is totally my type now. Plainly put, he is that damaged guy you think you can put back together but just end up going insane yourself. Romantic right!